Fresh Air
RANTS
I just came from the other campus when I arrived at the Main Premises. The dean saw me and he started chattering about his idea of organizing a chorale for the coming competition this December 8. He was asking me of who the probable participants are, or if this activity could even be possible over two weeks time. Yeah! So much for a breather.
This morning, I realized I have a lot of things to do and I needed to breath fresh air before I even lose my sanity. Tomorrow’s the ITE Forum as I knew but we haven’t formulated plans yet for the SITES. Then a week from now will be the ITE nyt but we’re really having problems bout the venue. Heck! Poor Bert! He’s getting too stressed out with this, and so is everybody. As if we’re hoping for a miracle to let things happen the way it supposed to. December 17 is our first deadline of our thesis prototype and heck, our system always bugs down. I wonder how we’ll all survive this semester’s hell!!
Anyway, I’m still working out how I could possibly make all the news writers and contributors submit all that needs to be done for the December issue. huhuhuh.. Because of this too much busy-ness, i forgot to make my assignments this week. Yeah! I was fifteen minutes late in my class this morning just to make a one-page homework that was supposed to be done last week-end. A week from now will be also be our quiz show. Still not that confident yet.
I’ve been to busy with my own world lately that I don’t even know how I’ll manage to get through all these. Family problems, financial problems, school problems, pressure, tension, stress - countless maybe. Yeah! I know everyone’s having their own share of problems, and I’m really used to these. But sometimes, i just want to shout out to to the whole world that I’m giving up. I just want to sleep at night without having to worry anything that might happen the following day.
I always tell my hubby I want to step out of school soon – to graduate. Life seems to be easier when you’re not pressured in keeping up with your responsibilites. When I didn’t make it to the PHILNITS Exams, there is this tiny voice in me that shouts “Hooray”. Maybe I’m a bit of a twerp because who would not want to pass that kind of exam, when after passing it, you’ll be insured of a stable job abroad? The voice in me tells that people out there should realize that I am not at all a genius who can keep up with their expectations that easily. There is the drive that I really want to make it as a passer, but I wasn’t able to.. Maybe this is who i am.. I am not at all PERFECT..
GOODY-GOODY
So much for all the rants. There are still people out there who makes my day a little bit brighter. I visited the office this afternoon and Mr.Dean just told me that I’m getting a bit prettier – or rather beautiful. That was a nice compliment. He got a little bit nosey of what the reason might be.
Hehehe.. Maybe because there is this one person out there who has that perfect blend of keeping my sanity at bay.. When I think I need a BREATHE OF FRESH AIR, I always run to him. I always look forward to our week-ends when I could finally take a break from the stressful work and spend my time for fun alone with him – this is only the chance we’ve got to talk seriously about anything. Today, I felt like I’m going to lose my brains any minute so I thought having him around for just an hour would do the job of reviving me back to my old jolly self. (Talking about physical and emotional dependence!!) I am always amazed by his boldness. I really wouldn’t mind if we’re talking about the usual stuff we talk about. I just really need his presence to assure me that everything will fall into its right place any time soon.
Fresh Air
RANTS I just came from the other campus when I arrived at the Main Premises. The dean saw me and he started chattering about his idea of organizing a chorale for the coming competition this December 8. He was asking me of who the probable participants are, or if this activity could even be possible over two weeks time. Yeah! So much for a breather. This morning, I realized I have a lot of things to do and I needed to breath fresh air before I even lose my sanity. Tomorrow’s the ITE Forum as I knew but we haven’t formulated plans yet for the SITES. Then a week from now will be the ITE nyt but we’re really having problems bout the venue. Heck! Poor Bert! He’s getting too stressed out with this, and so is everybody. As if we’re hoping for a miracle to let things happen the way it supposed to. December 17 is our first deadline of our thesis prototype and heck, our system always bugs down. I wonder how we’ll all survive this semester’s hell!! Anyway, I’m still working out how I could possibly make all the news writers and contributors submit all that needs to be done for the December issue. huhuhuh.. Because of this too much busy-ness, i forgot to make my assignments this week. Yeah! I was fifteen minutes late in my class this morning just to make a one-page homework that was supposed to be done last week-end. A week from now will be also be our quiz show. Still not that confident yet. I’ve been to busy with my own world lately that I don’t even know how I’ll manage to get through all these. Family problems, financial problems, school problems, pressure, tension, stress – countless maybe. Yeah! I know everyone’s having their own share of problems, and I’m really used to these. But sometimes, i just want to shout out to to the whole world that I’m giving up. I just want to sleep at night without having to worry anything that might happen the following day. I always tell my hubby I want to step out of school soon – to graduate. Life seems to be easier when you’re not pressured in keeping up with your responsibilites. When I didn’t make it to the PHILNITS Exams, there is this tiny voice in me that shouts “Hooray”. Maybe I’m a bit of a twerp because who would not want to pass that kind of exam, when after passing it, you’ll be insured of a stable job abroad? The voice in me tells that people out there should realize that I am not at all a genius who can keep up with their expectations that easily. There is the drive that I really want to make it as a passer, but I wasn’t able to.. Maybe this is who i am.. I am not at all PERFECT.. GOODY-GOODY So much for all the rants. There are still people out there who makes my day a little bit brighter. I visited the office this afternoon and Mr.Dean just told me that I’m getting a bit prettier – or rather beautiful. That was a nice compliment. He got a little bit nosey of what the reason might be. Hehehe.. Maybe because there is this one person out there who has that perfect blend of keeping my sanity at bay.. When I think I need a BREATHE OF FRESH AIR, I always run to him. I always look forward to our week-ends when I could finally take a break from the stressful work and spend my time for fun alone with him – this is only the chance we’ve got to talk seriously about anything. Today, I felt like I’m going to lose my brains any minute so I thought having him around for just an hour would do the job of reviving me back to my old jolly self. (Talking about physical and emotional dependence!!) I am always amazed by his boldness. I really wouldn’t mind if we’re talking about the usual stuff we talk about. I just really need his presence to assure me that everything will fall into its right place any time soon.
Have I?
I don’t know if I’m being too cheesy these past days or I’m simply drugged with the addiction I’m into. LOVE – the whole mess of it. Shout out to those who had finally found it. (Wait! I’m losing the direction of my writing!!!!) I’ve been diving in and out of relationships the past seven years of my life. Bein’ single for more than a year, it was still fun – spending my time with a bunch of freaks and friends. But something’s been missin’.
I had a broken heart more than once, and had broken some of the others too. I cried; they cried. Nobody won; everybody lost. Maybe because I was hurt that I lost the meaning of LOVE. Regrets, plenty. Tears, a bucketful. That’s when I finally decided that I will not cry for some other person again, even if that would mean I have to shut off my heart from that tempting LOVE.
When I realized my fourteen-year-old sister’s having a mess of her time with that LOVE thing, I said she’s too young for it. What does a fourteen-year-old know about it? Or should I say, what do I know about LOVE? Do I know enough that i can say i had found it?
Yes! I thought I found him. And the fear of having to lose again in this kind of gamble is so strong. I feared the day that i might not take it anymore. The day he’ll leave me. But sometimes, I can hear my self say “I wouldn’t mind losing’cause a time with him is worth the price to pay!”
The Third Time
It was way back high school when I first fell for someone. Loving him for almost four years was not easy. After many times of rejection and his ‘pamumulsa’, he eventually realized that he needed me now. When the time came that I’ve finally forgotten him, he came back and tried to win me. But after more than three years of waiting, I told him it had long been over.
In first year college, I met someone again, and he made me see that I can love again the second time around. Everything was so perfect – he loved me, i loved him. But he cannot take the pressure of keeping up with me. He told me lies just to make me realize that he’s no good to me. Although I appreciate the kind of concern he had for me, it could have been a lot easier for me to move on from the pain if he had been more honest. Now that we are the best friends, promises of us being together again is now gone. It will never be us again.
And now, falling the third time around is a feeling I had long been forgotten. I never thought I could possibly feel it in a person who just used to walk past me every morning; in him who would not care if I walk through the door in late afternoons. Thank you for coming into my life. And after a couple of years of a dead love story, it had started again with you. You’re now mine, I’m yours…
caught in between..
sad.. happy
afraid.. gutsy..
hopeless, confident..
don’t know what i should feel..
caught in between turning points..
SIGHS!!!!
You Came…
I don’t know a bit of you.. Just used to look at you from a distance, and I never cared.
I thought you were just sombody who would just pass by me.
Thought you were just someone who’ll never care if i walk past the door
Thought you’ll just walk ahead of me, and would not care to hold my hand
Thought there was nothing in the way you talk,the way you look at me.
And that was when I started telling myself that I’ll never find what I’m looking for.
Many have liked and loved me, but I can’t find the ONE that I need.
Thought you were just one of them, just one of them that I’ll forget..
But then, turning points do come in the least expected way..
When the day came that I don’t seem to know who I am anymore without you.
I used to live in false hopes..
But you showed me that reality are better than my own dreams..
My reality is better, because you’re here.. With me, in me..
Pissesd
kainis.. I was supposed to be happy because I just received a lot of tasks for my blogs. Last month, I reached page rank of three,, and now, I dropped to zero that fast, I don’t know what the hell wrong with my blogs. AAArrghh!!!!!
Saturday Trippin’
Well, well, well. The first thing that came to my mind was last Saturday’s Trip. I woke up at six in the morning, and I started bugging my sister about the contest she’ll join later in the evening. So I end up coaching her of her diction, posture and mannerisms while singing. While doing that, I was preparing breakfast for four. Since mom is busy outside with the neighbors, I just thought it would be better to make myself busy with the household chores. I was thinking that I’ll do a good bath by 7am and work on my OJT papers by nine at school. But I was feeling really lazy that I took my bath by 8am. So I was at school by 10am, and found my way to Sir Charlie’s office. We had a good time talking to each other, that we haven’t noticed Sir Charlie’s already testing his markers on my DTR. Darn!! But he told me he wouldn’t need it anyway. So it’s fine. The funny part at school was I have to find a comfort room that I can use. Unfortunately, I ran from the lobby to fifth floor just to find a rest room. The restrooms are currently being renovated and that would mean I have to climb the stairs on the way to the auditorium. Lucky me, I didn’t pee on my pants.
I’ll have a date with friends by noon, and so I went straight to Ilustre. We had a fair lunch at Penong’s. And I rated it fair because of the following grounds. Firstly, waiters should be the one handing the menu to their customers, not customers asking for menu. Secondly, being polite and courteous to your guests should be observed always. We asked for a follow-up for our orders and they said a blunt “Hulat lng”. Thirdly, don’t let your customers wait for a good damn hour just to get served. Fifthly, they have to hire more people. Sixthly, their food didn’t taste as good as what I had before. But then again, considering the number of people they have to serve, I want to give them a fair rate for trying to keep up with the demands of the given circumstance.
After lunch, we headed straight to Fair Lanes. And we have to wait for another good hour for our company. Ronald had not experienced playing pool before, so I said that a game of pool wouldn’t hurt. Before that novice could even beat me with mere luck, Guil arrived and we finished three 15-ball games. I was about to beat Ronald in our first match in bowling when Paul arrived. I have to say “Here, Here, Here” when Ronald said it’s the sport he’s a dope at. Peace!! After being done with bowling, we went straight to the mall by foot and poor Ronald spent for 4 tokens for the basketball only to be beaten by me. Hahahaha..
We went separate ways after he gave me his promised Saturday treat. And I went home, excited to see my sister in her contest. But unfortunately, she quit in the last minute, because she’s losing the guts to face the crowd. Poor sister! It was actually the first time she joined one, and I can’t blame her if she felt so nervous.
My day went well last Saturday. And I’m looking forward to a movie treat by next week. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, here I come..
CATHastrophic Mediocrity-Beautiful Mediocrity-Perfect Dash of Red
